Apostate Finally Published!
Behind the Story: Apostate
I just wanted to share the good news that after almost three years, my story “Apostate” has finally been published! At a later time, I will republish it here, but until then, you can check it out at the online LitMag, A Thin Slice of Anxiety!
The seed for this story had been swirling in my head for a long time, but it wasn’t until 2020 that I actually started writing. The first couple of versions went through a short story workshop at Gotham Writers. Then a few more versions went through a couple of paid editors that gave me useful feedback.
I started submitting the story to LitMags in August of 2020 and continued until it was finally published a few weeks ago. It was painful to see it get rejected 76 times over the last few years, but the story was precious to me, and I had to get it out in whatever way possible. I’m so happy that it has finally found a home!
Behind the Story: Apostate
I grew up in an Evangelical Christian church, and when I was a kid, they showed a series of four movies about the Rapture and the “end times.” These are the old-school movies that came long before the Left Behind series. It started with “A Thief in the Night” and went on through the seventies and early eighties. As a child, the films scared the hell out of me, and I believe that was probably the point.
I was called into the ministry as a teen and went on to a very conservative Bible College. I was fervent and determined, but that is also where I struggled and finally confronted the fact that I was gay. Even though I graduated and was even licensed as a minister, it didn’t take long before I had to step away from the ministry. It wasn’t that I had lost my passion or faith, but at that time, it just wasn’t possible to be a minister and openly gay. So for a very long time, I wandered through life not knowing what to do or where to go.
I should say that Calvin, the protagonist in the story, is not meant to be me. On the other hand, it is undeniable that my own life experience definitely inspired and informed this story. It was important to me to explore the idea of holding onto personal faith through all the personal devastation but also making peace with the reality of one’s self. Making Calvin a true believer but also wrestling with his sexual orientation helped me accomplish that goal in the story.
No matter who you are or where you are coming from, I hope that you enjoy reading “Apostate” and that it’s at least thought-provoking.